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My friend has a sugar daddy, what should I do ?

If, like many people, you don’t know much about the different forms of sex work, we advise you not to stick with your first reaction. Indeed, prejudices are widely circulated and it is important to remain open-minded and to inform yourself in order to be aware of a wider range of possible realities. 

Here are some tips we can give you:

  • Faced with this disclosure, be welcoming and kind. It is important not to jump to conclusions and to take the time to listen to your friend.  
  • The stigma attached to people who have a sugar daddy (and more broadly to people who exchange sexual services) is very strong. Keep in mind that your friend is still the same person you know and like.
  • If you have concerns, try to understand where they are coming from: are they associated with myths and prejudices about sugaring, or are they based on facts you have observed or heard?
  • It is normal to have concerns, especially if the sugar daddy is older or if your friend is a minor. Your friend may indeed be experiencing abuse or manipulation. If that is the case, they may need to be properly equipped to recognize these dangerous situations. 
  • If your friend is open to receiving support, you can offer them reading materials or connect them to resources where they can get help. They could meet with PIaMP workers.
  • If your friend is not open to receiving support, the most important thing you can do is express your availability and support
  • If you are having difficulty assessing whether or not your friend is in danger, you can also contact the PIaMP. We can help you evaluate the situation and act accordingly. 
  • Read up on the topic, you can start by clicking here. 
  • Your friend may not be in a dangerous situation, especially if they are of age and have the tools to assert themselves and recognize violent situations. In this case, be careful not to be too insistent. Some questions may be more out of curiosity than support and your friend may find them tiresome. Let them decide when they want to talk to you. 

Don’t hesitate to seek support for yourself if you have concerns, as they can be overwhelming.

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